Press Releases


From Staff Sergeant A Frederick 00:20 27/03
Press speculation mainly contained. Simple truth acknowledgement and standard position maintained. Statements based around substantive elements – Shop dummies were animated and casualties occurred, London Eye did glow with a halo. Position news agenda towards emphasis on casualties, homeland security etc.

Demphasise exact nature of threat and potency of clear-up. Do we focus efforts on removing footage from the net?
From Lt David Judd 01:03 27/03
Common video files containing video footage of the event now identified, and a bandwidth squeeze placed on downloads of them. Standard interference patterns run across satellite retransmission of footage.

Advantageously, global communication interrupted anyway due to the signal beamed from the London Eye. The pulse wasn’t just an activation trigger, but also sent out a cross-frequency jamming wave (why? Is the Consciousness vulnerable to certain radio signals?).

Mobile telephony appears to have worked in the area, initially, but luckily sank swiftly under weight of calls.

Very few cameras were working, and failed to capture as much footage as we could have feared.
From Capt Panos Karpidas 02:03 27/03
Careful, casual debriefing of those affected hasn’t proved possible. Too many casualties, too widespread, I’m afraid. I’m hoping to minimize exposure through general misinformation and exaggeration.

Field operatives already calling Radio Phone-Ins and bombarding websites with their stories – common themes are that the mannequins talked, that waxworks were included in the assault, etc.

Launching simultaneous spread of operatives claiming that nothing happened in their area. Advised operatives to stay away from linking incident to genuine terrorist threat.
From Sgt Catherine Petts 06:03 27/03
Clear-up going well, and we’re enjoying an early breakfast and some strong, sweet tea. Who’d have thought scraping plastic off the pavement would be so damn hard?

It’s all gone remarkable well. Triage of casualties in my area arranged speedily and as follows:
- Shock, Grief, Disorientation (Common) 247
- Conventional Wounds (eg Glass cuts, burns) 583
- Unconventional Wounds: Non-Fatal (eg Internal burns) 26
- Unconventional Fatalities 430?

Problem with the latter statistic caused by impact/implosion nature of mannequin fire. Currently forced to rely on trace residuals, or eye witness statements.

It has made the clean up considerably easier, though. But the smell of burning plastic is a shocker!
From Staff Sergeant A Frederick 06:20 27/03
Trying to seed the following theory with the press. Probably more chance of a broadsheet science correspondent taking it. But little chance of anyone swallowing it, I’m afraid.

“The incident was caused by a batch of faulty plastic used in the manufacture of display dummies, combined with a gas main explosion. During manufacture, it seems that bubbles formed within the dummies. When exposed to high temperatures during and after the explosion, expansion of air within them caused them to distort and twist in a way that already panicked observers interpreted as movement.”